Licking The Floor

1988

Doctor and nurse discuss treatment options for a patient with a floor-licking compulsion.

The Bananas

1994

Two competing banana companies have gone to war and a reporter reports in real time as the army rescues the Chiquita Banana woman after a tense five day hostage stand off in a South American jungle.

Cannibals Gone Bad

1997

A post-apocalyptic comedic thriller in the sewers after the remaining population is driven underground. Food is scarce and the scriptures say it's the ultimate honor to be eaten by the queen, but when one cannibal finally gets picked to be eaten, he goes rogue.

Sister Lola

1997

In a full body cast, David has broken ever bone in his body except his jaw which he desperately wants Sister Lola to break for him.

The Cheese

1997

A woman seeks sanctuary in a monastery after she unknowingly gnawed upon the sacrificial cheese loaf made from the milk of the lamb of God.

The Go-Go Dancer

1997

Go-Go dancer Dot has an existential crisis when she gets stuck in her cage.

The Hanging Burglar

1997

It's the middle of the night and a burglar is confronted by the maid and they discover they went to high school together.

The Spaceship

1997

The captain is the sole survivor when his space ship violates the airspace of a party planet.

Wet Paper Bag

1997

A woman waits for the bus as man tries desperately to mug her. She is not having it.

All About Art

1998

Jesse's art is suffering because his therapist is perhaps too good. Together they take steps to remedy the situation.

Allison

1998

Allison is tired of having two bodies and her psychiatrist is at his wits end.

Corn Pads

1998

Mavis's eighty-year-old mother uses a trip to the drug store for some corn pads to seduce Mavis's unsuspecting but perhaps willing husband Marvin.

Downstairs at Quantico

1998

FBI Agent Ron has a theory that the serial killer has been bowling his victims to death.

Emma Of Sandusky

1998

An adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma" that takes place in a retirement village and, even after all these years, Emma is still trying to match-make her singleton friends only to accidentally find love herself.

Executive Secretary

1998

Carolyn learns the ins-and-outs and ins-and-outs of sleeping her way to the top.

Framed

1998

A popular theme restaurant that locks you in a jail cell and feeds you prison gruel turns out to be something far worse.

Georgia Robbed A Bank

1998

On the run from the bank security guards, bank robber Georgia disappears into her own head.

In The Air Duct

1998

A reporter and her camera man are trapped in the air-duct of the government installation about to perform the first alien autopsy.

Lemonade

1998

In their own vernacular, Sisterella relays the events of catching her boyfriend cheating on her to her best friend Jade.

Prey

1998

Two men stalking the same woman discover that she may or may not be cheating on them with a third.

The Beauty Pageant

1998

The question portion of a 1980's beauty pageant goes quickly awry.

The Caveman

1998

Cavewoman Inga is evolving much faster than her Neanderthal husband, Nagog, and she finds this just exhausting.

The Flashlights

1998

Scientists investigate when Marge gets stuck to the ceiling after gravity reverses itself in her apartment.

The Red Play

1998

Militant communists take over a community theater production in Iowa and the actors must find a way to save the day without breaking character.

The Songwriter

1998

A songwriter tells her husband the song she wrote about having an affair is, yes, based on real life.

Bipolar by Thursday

1999

Downstairs at Quantico
Executive Secretary
Chance Meetings
The Cheese
The Caveman
Sister Lola
Corn Pads
Fifty Bucks
The Backup Singers
The Stripper
The Spaceship
The Beauty Pageant
The Eskimos
Georgia Robbed A Bank
Lemonade
The Flashlights
Two Women In Bed
The Songwriter
The Bland Man
The Left One
Round Peg
The Go-Go Dancer
Existential Angst
Allison

Chance Meetings

1999

Karen somehow talks her gay best friend Gary into bed and he gives it the old college try.

Chum

1999

At the shark tank at Sea World, marine biologist Steph tries to figure out why one of the sharks is acting strangely.

Damn Spot

1999

Molly must call an exorcist when she discovers a spot on the floor of her rent-controlled apartment is possessed.

Dead Wong

1999

Utah Mayonnaise magnate Wilbur Wong dodges a poisoned bagel sent to him by his scheming brother, only to discover that one of his three wives may be in on the plot to kill him.

Existential Angst

1999

In the distant future, a female humanoid attempts find a mate while still accepting life as the existential nothingness that it is.

Olivia 6

1999

Three graduate students successfully clone Olivia Newton John, but then can't stop cloning Olivia Newton John.

Round Peg

1999

Jason just can't quite figure out the trick to getting the round peg in the round hole.

Short Play #38

1999

Hacker Suzanne has fallen in love with a man who still has seven more years on his jail sentence, but she has figured out a way to meet with him in a virtual reality game and give him the tools to hack himself out of jail.

Submission

1999

Joan likes to dominate. Her girlfriend Joanne likes to submit. Or did.

The Backup Singers

1999

Three backup singers have lost their groove.

The Bland Man

1999

A beautiful unattainable woman is attained.

The Cranks

1999

Fran and her husband Frank are equally tired and cranky on the same night.

The Eskimos

1999

Papuk finally gets the courage to tell his mother he wants to move out of the igloo and go South.

The Left One

1999

Jeanine learns the painful truth that she's not as bilaterally perky as she thought she was.

The Stripper

1999

Three naked men pay to watch an attractive woman to put her clothes on.

Three Things

1999

Emotionally unavailable Greg attempts to avail them to prove a point to Andrea.

Uber-Normal

1999

Melissa stabs her future fiancé Steve, because it would be way too normal not to.

Walking

1999

It's the middle of the night and Betty has tried to stay awake long enough to prevent her sleepwalking husband from walking out the door.

Yard Sale

1999

Tom and Beth shop for a yard hologram so they can stop mowing the lawn forever.

Coloring

2000

As Wendy peels the labels off the crayons for her daughter her oldest friend and long-ago ex, re-declares his love for her.

Coveralls And Hairnets

2000

Gloria and Norma are on their shift at the nuclear power plant in the Silkwood 80's. When Norma reveals her husband is leaving her, Gloria has her own existential crisis.

Elvis At Stuckey's

2000

Joellen recounts how she and her mama saw Elvis at Stuckey's one time.

Hypothermia

2000

Two men. A bitterly cold winter's night working on the Alaskan pipeline. One pair of gloves.

Postcoital Variations

2000

Med student Maryanne is in a polyamorous relationship with Todd and Sven and is forced to reevaluate her situation when she gets pregnant-- all while Maryanne's best friend Helen struggles to conceive a child with her husband and Maryanne's beautiful new lab partner confuses everything. Each scene begins postcoitally as the characters try to navigate their way back toward happiness in any combination that might work.

The Cheever Tapes

2000

A Media Studies professor analyzes frame-by-frame the famous 1999 security camera footage of morgue technician Jeff Cheever miraculously reanimating two corpses with his tongue and pieces together the events that must have lead up to the taping.

The Girl With The Butterfly Bracelet

2000

A sociopath stalks his prey at an airport terminal.

Traces in the Dirt

2000

Clair is a psychic who solves crimes for the police department and her current case is a corpse found planted up to her fingertips in the Chestnut Hill section of Philadelphia. Prevented by the authorities from touching the dead body for a psychic read, she uses the psychic traces left in the dirt of the shallow grave to track down the killer. When she realizes he is a more powerful psychic who is planting false psychic clues in the dirt, Clair must learn to use old-fashioned detective work instead of her now-unreliable psychic power to solve the crime.

Coma

2001

Inside the head of a man in a coma, he explains how and why a coma is exhausting.

Deep In The Rotunda

2001

Jeff tries to help his friend Lee overcome an irrational fear of the long-dead Marlon Brando.

Hangups

2001

A man's dead ex has started to call him from the grave and hang up.

Loretta on the Run

2001

Collaboration with Michael Erger that tells the story of Loretta escaping a very bad situation she got herself into.

On The Couch

2001

Mrs. Powell is annoyed to find her daughter's boyfriend, Eugene, on her couch and alarmed to learn that perhaps he knows her daughter better than she does.

Simply Hamlet

2001

A yes, for all intents and purposes, un-producible line-for-line translation of Shakespeare's "Hamlet" into modern-day English, but screw it, this was fun to write.

Split Pea Pod

2001

Dan is so unsure about his relationship with his girlfriend, Gert, that he splits in half-- the half that loves her unconditionally and the half that's terminally afraid of commitment. The two halves (played by two different actors) must reconcile their indecision and work together to win back Gert before she is lost forever.  The plight of the two Dans is complicated by his roommate, Steve-- who is secretly in love with both Gert and Dan-- and by Steve's therapist, Dr. Benning, who seems to be doing more harm than good.

The Grey Widow

2001

A very short play written in verse about a man in love with a woman who makes him sick.

Dillweed

2002

Hannah smokes a dill weed joint on the beach with her friend Hinky and takes a moment to question her life.

George and The Evil Bastard

2002

George has perhaps just learned how this dystopian world he's stuck in works.

In The Interrogation Room

2002

In the interrogation room at the police station, a man slowly remembers in real time what actually happened the night of the murder.

Looking Back

2002

Eric bittersweetly looks back at a fond memory of his three friends from graduate school he has since lost touch with, and perhaps rewrites a little history.

The Fog

2002

A man tries to understand the fog in his brain.

The Mathematical Equation

2002

Alan breaks down a simple mathematical equation for Craig and Brenda until it's about way more than math.

The Scent of Vanilla

2002

It's the 19th Century and Lady Norfolk tells us the story of how the scent of vanilla was spoiled for her.

The Wandering Blues

2002

Tanya is about to get on the tour bus with her banjo and leave her boyfriend Scott behind once again.

Bear Skin Rug Burns

2003

A sign language expert is given the daunting task of signing an adult film for the hearing impaired.

In The Near Dark

2003

Kelly, Brian and Mario are being held captive in a dark room. Their captor has left them with a meat cleaver and only one option for escape.

Lava Floor

2003

Bill and Nancy want to go to bed and play lava floor in their messy living room to get to the bedroom. But this is not a game.

Meta Meta

2003

Alex wants to make a "Dogma 95" short film about staging a ten minute play about making a short film about staging a play, but his actor friends have real lives and are skeptical about taking part in this meta experiment.

On The Floor

2003

Gary is on the floor of his office, having lost all incentive to fight gravity. Marlene tries to help him get back up.

Scream Into My Breasts

2003

Outside Doug's apartment on the night he ends a nine year self-imposed celibacy, a reporter interviews all involved parties then inserts herself into the story.

Sounds Like Teen Spirit

2003

A disco gospel choir helps a young man finally come out.

The Four And A Half Minute All-Cliché Murder Mystery

2003

Exactly that.

The History Of Dance

2003

A frantic one-minute history of dance.

The Moons of Montserrat

2003

It’s 1996 and Gonz and his wife Tammy are unemployed followers desperately in search of a leader. Tammy finds her groove as a backup singer to Montserrat, a washed-up opera diva reinventing her career as a pop diva. Gonz tries his hand at being a henchman for Schnitzel, but quickly discovers he can’t even break a guy's knee-caps with a crow-bar. When Schnitzel, the ultimate collector of all Montserrat memorabilia, finds out Gonz's wife Tammy is now in possession of the long-lost holy-grail test pressing of Montserrat’s first 1979 seven-inch single, Gonz must think for himself for once and choose between his undying loyalty to his new boss and his ever-distant wife.

Amnesia

2004

Phyllis and her husband Kent find themselves standing over a dead body in their bedroom and no recollection what happened.

As Colonel Meredith Eastwood Floats in Space

2004

As Colonel Meredith Eastwood floats in the International Space Station, she questions the scientific basis for love.

Lost in the Woods

2004

A man tells the story about how he and his friend Randy got lost in the woods after his wife found out he was cheating on her.

Minor Disagreement

2004

Louise and Dale never fight and agree about everything, including that they should probably try having a fight.

SKITSoid

2004

The Stripper
Existential Angst
The Caveman
The Left One
Executive Secretary
Round Peg
The Songwriter
Deep In The Rotunda
The Four And A Half Minute All-Cliché Murder Mystery
The Cheese
Allison
Minor Disagreement
Downstairs at Quantico
George and The Evil Bastard
Sexually Impaired
The Eskimos
Slap Happy
Tragic Opening Number
Diptych

Sally Sock

2004

When her Foot loses her at the Laundromat, single sock Sally One tries to find Sally Two and her way back to her Foot, but fate and the other socks in the single sock bin have other plans.

Scream Into My Breasts (and Other Short Plays)

2004

Scream Into My Breasts
In The Interrogation Room
All About Art
Chum
On The Floor
Dillweed
The Cranks
The Fog
Looking Back
Damn Spot
Elvis At Stuckey's
Three Things
Meta Meta
The Four And A Half Minute All-Cliché Murder Mystery

A Tragic Story

2005

Fondella sits on a stool and tells us a tragic story. The end.

Balding

2005

Dave has something trapped inside him that he needs to set free and until he does so his hair will keep falling out.

Dead Men Walken

2005

Derrick and his friends can't talking like Christopher Walken and his wife Kelly has had just about enough.

Lotto Winner

2005

A lottery winner explains to the press exactly what he's going to do with the money.

Sexually Impaired

2005

A man tries to figure out why and how he's so bad at sex.

Slap Happy

2005

Co-workers Pam and Noreen take full-advantage of National Slap Your Co-Worker Day

Jan-Candy and the Elvis Tattoo

2006

A mother tells us the story of how her identical twin daughters found their deadbeat dad.

Lure

2006

A musical collaboration with John D'Alonzo, Robert Kangas and the Jesse Schurr Band tells the story of a heroin addict looking for redemption.

On the Porch One Crisp Spring Morning

2006

Mother and daughter sip coffee on the porch one gloriously crisp spring morning. And then try to kill each other. The end.

She Licks His Face in the End

2006

Spoiler alert, she licks his face in the end.

The :nv:s:ble Play

2006

Colin has been fading away for years in the cubicle next to Fran and has made the mistake of falling in love with her even though she as no idea he exists. When his lunch partner gets laid off, Colin finds himself alone and completely invisible to his coworkers. But now a whole new invisible world is visible to him. He meets Ramona and Lawrence who have been invisible and working beside him for years. They teach him the rules of being invisible including an unsubstantiated myth that the only way to become visible again is if someone falls in love with you. With the help of his new invisible friends, Colin works to win the heart of Fran-- who can’t see or hear him. But all she has to do is turn her head.

Third-First Person

2006

Internal monologues of two writers in a coffee shop who nearly meet and nearly fall in love.

13 Lemonade Ave.

2007

Georgia Robbed A Bank
In The Interrogation Room
Elvis At Stuckey's
Sexually Impaired
The Scent of Vanilla
Hangups
As Colonel Meredith Eastwood Floats in Space
The Fog
Chum
The Girl With The Butterfly Bracelet
Dillweed
Third-First Person

The Peach

2007

Jake is a simple man who likes to kill things for his boss, but today his boss wants him dead.

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